Have you thought about planning your leaving do from life, your last goodbye, your funeral? I don’t mean making financial arrangements, although that’s a sensible thing to do. I’m talking about your actual funeral – the things you do and don’t want to happen. Apparently loads of us, 91% in fact, have thought about our own death. However, very few of us have written anything down, or even just told someone what we’re thinking.

I’m not surprised. Despite being involved with death, dying and bereavement for over 45 years I have never managed to write my own useful, meaningful funeral plan; my last act of kindness. A plan that family and friends can take comfort in knowing they are doing what I want, and importantly I can tick off the ‘To Do’ list. The other day however, I found some solid advice … ‘don’t start with burial or cremation, type of coffin, flowers, music etc., in fact, don’t think about dying or anything to do with death at all!’

I know it seems strange but stay with me, it’s worth it. Instead, start by randomly listing what makes you smile, laugh, feel good. Jot down hobbies, passions, interests you have and have had. Note your likes and dislikes and the things that really irritate you. Add achievements – big, small, and minute, your talents and milestone events.

Go on, stop thinking, start doing. Make the first mark on the page, it may not be much but that’s why it’s called a draft! Think of a swimming pool, there’s two ways in – diving and wading. Divers make a splash but aren’t necessarily better swimmers. Getting in slowly is just as good.

So, you’ve made a start, which is brilliant. You’ve also got a result – you should be feeling good, more in touch with yourself and your life, not your departure; and you’ve got a glimpse of what your goodbye party should look like. How? Those things on your list, they’re the ingredients for your goodbye party. Granted, it might not seem much but remember you’ve started, it’s a draft, something to go back to. You can now begin to arrange, rearrange, reject and priorities the things on your lists until they feel right.

Doing it this way helps transform the process into something enjoyable and fulfilling, because you’re not just tuned into the wonder of your life, you’re also imagining the ways you can “say goodbye” by incorporating all this good stuff?

It’s like magic, try it for yourself. Don’t worry about the next steps, just start a list of what you love and what lights you up. Subconsciously, you’re setting a scene for this to be translated into a highly satisfying, touching, and meaningful exit party.

If you want to share some of the things on your list and how they fit into your leaving do that would be great. It might encourage others to make a start and share their thoughts too. Before we know it, we could be inspiring each other. Imagine the exit parties then! Regardless of sharing, it’s definitely one less thing on our’ To do’ list.